What Happens in Vegas... Can Be Pretty Darn Gross

As you may know, Jeff is a tutor at the USU writing center. This usually gives our family very little, seeing as it pays almost nothing. But lo and behold: being married to a grammar-Nazi paid off this weekend. Jeff was asked to present at the National Writing Tutors Conference, and the university picked up the tab. We stayed at a pretty nice hotel about two blocks from the strip. The awkward thing was we had to share a room with another married couple and one single girl, but it really wasn't as bad as it could have been.

This trip to Vegas was kinda important for Jeff and I. Jeff loves Vegas. I don't. We have so many similar views, so it's surprising that we disagree so much on this. Jeff loves the cool architecture in Vegas; the fancy restaurants; the amazing gardens and fountains; the fact that it's 100 places in one. I hate that Vegas represents the worst part of humanity is practically every way. And neon lights give me headaches.

This trip was supposed to show me that Vegas offers many things other than exploitation of women, gambling, and over all grossness. Unfortunately, we were on The Strip on Halloween. Yeah. It was disgusting. I can't tell you how many slutty pirates I saw. It is such a double standard! Men can wear whatever they want at Halloween, but women have to be a naughty nurse or something. **NOTE TO ANY WOMAN I SAW THIS HALLOWEEN: NURSES WEAR SCRUBS, NOT FISHNET STOCKINGS**

It was a pretty crazy weekend, full of the most jaw-droppingly bad behavior known to man. So, my judgements on Vegas were justified about a billion times over. However, Jeffrey did conquer some of my Vegas-hate. Vegas has some incredibly beautiful places. The Bellagio was awe-inspiring. It really was one of the most beautiful places I've been to. (It was pretty jarring when I saw a woman with jeweled stars on her nipples there. She was a cowboy, so of course she needed to not have a shirt on as part of her costume. Sick. Also, she wasn't a young one.)

We really did have a great time. I loved the Venetian, and I wish I lived at the Wynn. But the beautiful hotels had nothing on the highlight of our trip: the wax museum!! I've wanted to go to Madame Tusseauds since I was a little girl, but its a pretty expensive place. Jeff got us tickets as a six month anniversary present (it's on Monday), and I was simply delighted. Behold Vegas, The Ultimate Photo-Op:

Jeff and President Bush.

Both of us with Lincoln. It didn't feel right to smile.

I finally got my hands on Ben Affleck.

Good old Siegfried and Roy. Pre-mauling, of course.

I wish Beyonce was my best friend.

Jeff gets blocked by Shaq. Maybe he shouldn't have played in a button up shirt- just seems like it might hinder your game.

I think Zac Efron looks creepy here.

Jeff meets Andre Agassi at last.

I married George Clooney. Jeff was in the audience, the sucker.

Too bad Jennifer Lopez wouldn't give him the time of day.


Larry King did though.

We all know I'm after his money.

What can I say? She's really hot!

I wish real Paris had fountains like the Belagio's

Loved the glass flowers.

The conservatory inside had a pretty weird display up.

A nod to Arrested Development, of course.

This man was a man, not a statue. Really freaked me out.

I wanted to take a picture with him, but didn't want to give him a dollar. This is the result.