I woke up today and I just needed to write, but I couldn't really think of a great theme to write about. The problem with me and writing is if I don't feel like I'm being super witty or poignant, I just can't do it. I am not great at keeping a journal because I really struggle with writing about mundane things. I find it kind of funny that I have a really high standard for myself when it comes to writing, but I give myself a free pass on basically everything else I do. Anyway, the point was just to write because it makes me happy and not because it would be good to read, so I challenged myself today to just write about my day. I knew that my day would probably not be super exciting because most of them aren't. But it was gratifying, in a way, to catalogue all of the things that I did because it was a good reminder that I actually do a lot, even on days when it kind of feels like I didn't. As a writer, it was good practice to write in a way that I usually am uncomfortable with, but I would guess it wouldn't be super fun to read. Spoiler alert-diaper changes.
6:15 I wake up as Jeff is getting dressed. Jeff gets up at 6:00, but I never really hear him till after he eats breakfast. He is so careful to be so sneaky. My first thought is how tired I am. I haven't been sleeping well since the election. It has been extra acrimonious and I've been upset, but that is actually something that happens to me every election cycle. 2012 was also super rough on me. I stayed up late reading about Trump's transition team last night. I had heard this before, but I was reminded that Trump's son-in-law's dad was prosecuted by Chris Christie when he was NJ's AG and that there have been a lot of tensions there. Last night I thought that almost sounded like a novel- having to work with the man who sent your dad to prison because your father-in-law randomly decided to be president and then trying (supposedly) to bring him down. Doesn't that sound like a book? Someone will write it someday. Not me, but I'd like credit if anyone who reads this runs with the idea.
6:30 I say a prayer and then lay in bed, wondering why I am so tired and then I realize that Adam is laying next to me because he "had a bad dream." I put that in quotes because whenever he tells us what his bad dreams are, it's usually stuff like, "My shoe fell of when I was on the bus." or "I dreamt that this lady was mean in the store." Stuff like that. I feel like he's probably pretty untroubled, but he keeps coming to our bed. I also remember that Ben had been up because he had a wet diaper that leaked, but that Jeff took care of him and changed his crib sheet. Adam wakes up and Jeff goes. I always feel this moment of complete despondence when Jeff goes because life is just so much better when he's home. Adam woke up early and I still am not sure that I want to be up early, so I tell him he can watch one show. I read a few chapters of a 1980's romance novel. It sounds more scandalous than it actually is. It's probably cleaner than most mainstream lit these days, but the main reason I like to read it is because the author spent a really long time describing the heroine's clothes. "She looked like an enchanting ingenue, in her high-waisted cherry wool slacks, along with a a loose red blouse with gold bangles sewn into the sleeves. She completed her look with a jaunty yellow scarf and wind-blown hair." OK, that was a recreation, but a pretty accurate one. I know this sounds silly, but it feels like a direct link into the past and I enjoy reading the author's take on contemporary romance more than I expected. It's almost like anthropology and escapism at the same time.
7:00 I feed Adam. This takes up an incredible amount of my energy every day, but alas, he remains alive. I pack his lunch, help direct him to getting dressed and brushing his teeth and send him to the bus stop. I'm one of the only parents who sends their kid alone, but I'm also apparently one of the only parents who looks like a hobo in the morning.
7:30 I watch Adam get on the bus from our window and I hear Ben playing on the monitor. I come upstairs to get him and run into Avery on the stairs. She makes me say hello to Bear, as she does every single morning since she could talk. I open the door to grab Ben and find that he is covered in poop and it's on his sheets and pillow. It was truly gnarly, and I've seen things in my day. I tell Avery to go downstairs and watch one TV show because I had to disinfect everything. I throw his linens in the washing machine.
8:00 I give Ben a bath, which is really hard at this age, because he wants to stand up and he wants to drink the water and he wants to be super mad when I actually, you know, wash him.
8:20 I feed Ben and Avery breakfast. I notice that Ben is sleepy and I realize that he's probably sick. He confirms this by needing to be changed again. I feel bad for him because he has no clean bedding at all, so he has to stay up. I turn on the TV again (the third time today, eeshk) and pray that Ben will be entranced so that I can eat breakfast.
8:45 I eat breakfast and read the news. I check the news throughout the day, but I like to sit down and read something in-depth at breakfast. Today it was a human interest article in the NYT about how hard Thanksgiving is this year for people because basically everyone hates each other. It was sad. I get Ben and Avery dressed.
9:00 I've been wanting to give Avery a reading level assessment for a while because I've just been kind of curious where she stands. I have a hard time talking about it for some reason, but I realized that Avery is probably some level of intellectually gifted a few weeks ago after she told us about the gluteus maximus being the largest muscle in the body and showed us the anatomy book that she read it in. I don't like to talk about it because I worry that it sounds like I'm bragging or something and I know that many kids are bright in so many ways and I worry that people think that its just my love for her that causes me to think that. I think it is so strange because she seems like a normal 4 year old and I always pictured someone that is gifted just seeming like a little adult. But I kind of had a wake-up moment a few weeks ago because she's 4 and she's reading about anatomy and I never taught her to read at all and that's just not the norm. Anyway, I felt slightly validated because I've been having her evaluated to see if she qualifies for speech therapy (both she and Adam had articulation issues that basically just make them sound adorable) and the development specialists screened her for a lot of things and told me they thought she was gifted. I wanted to see exactly what she knows so that I could help her find things that challenge her if she needs that.
9:30 Printed out and did two different assessments, both said that she was reading at an end of 4th grade or beginning of 5th grade reading level. Avery requests that we print out and color pictures of flowers. She colors for literally 2 minutes and then decides to play in the basement with Ben and I. We play her favorite game, "Baby Daycare." It's pretty self-explanatory.
9:45 Ben needs to be changed again. Avery doesn't want me to take him because he is a big part of her daycare. I encourage that she make little beds for her charges and I take the clean sheets out of the dryer.
10:00 I put Ben down, take out some trash and mildly clean out the fridge. Avery comes up and decides to cut out some paper pillows and blankets for the baby daycare. This ends up distracting her for about an hour.
10:15 I take shower and do my makeup even though I know I probably won't really get out today. It really helps with my mood. I almost always wear makeup and I know that there are connotations that come with that, but I actually just really like applying makeup. It's one of my favorite parts of the day.
11:00 I begin getting Avery ready for preschool, she is resistant. Avery loves school, but Avery is very frequently opposed to being told to do anything. I feed her a snack and brush her hair, but we seem to be fighting a lot. She hides.
11:40 Avery is showing increased resistance, I go and wake up Ben so that we aren't late.
11:50 Guess what, we're late. Ben needed to be changed again.
12:00 I sometimes wonder if I am not naturally inclined for being a stay at home mom because frankly, I get really sad if we stay at home all day. I feel restless if I don't leave the house, so I decide to drive around and get Wendy's. Ben and I sing in the car and the leaves are pretty.
12:30 We come home, I eat my chicken sandwich and try to feed Ben some healthier food, but he's not really into it. He needs to be changed again. This poop thing is getting ridiculous, poor thing. He is in really good spirits though and we play with blocks and read some books.
1:30 Ben suddenly gets really tired again and I decide that I need to put him down. Avery's preschool schedule has been so hard because Ben is almost always sleeping when I need to take her or pick her up. Luckily, she has several dear friends in her class and I ask my friend Bethanie if she'll take Avery till Ben wakes up. She lives close to the preschool and her daughter is in the class and also one of Avery's best friends. She agrees and I feel guilty.
1:40-2:45 I realize that my guilt might have been augmented by being super tired because I go upstairs to straighten up and I accidentally fall on my bed and sleep for an hour.
3:00 Adam comes home and I feed him a snack. He watches a TV show and builds with Legos. I clean up a little, eat a snack too, text a little and read another chapter of my 80's romance. Seems like the FBI agent seems also have a thing for the heroine. She apparently has eyes that look like crystals. Personally, I'm not sure why authors like to use gems to describe eyes so much.
4:00 Ben wakes up with another blowout. I clean him up.
4:30 We pick up Avery. I have to almost physically drag her away. The kids immediately start fighting because Adam hit Avery with a pez dispenser and she started screaming bloody murder and I almost drove off the road. I tell them that they are to play in their rooms when we get home.
5:00 I try to figure out something for dinner, but I used up a lot of ingredients yesterday when I made a lemon-ginger soup that turned out too sweet. We can either have quesadilas and grapes or pizza. I decide to order pizza and I ask Jeff to pick it up on his way home. It works out because he is almost there. Adam and Avery emerge from their rooms, less angry.
5:15 Ben keeps calling people on FaceTime, which is becoming an ever-growing problem. We eventually decide to actually talk to Grandma and Grandpa Carr for a few minutes. They are on vacation and man, I'd like one of those. Jeff brings the pizza home. Jeff hurt his ankle and he's not even sure how and so I worry that he has some rare disease. That's just where my mind likes to go to- the super depressing and implausible.
5:30 I eat fast and then Ben needs to be changed, again. I ask Jeff to put him in the tub. Poor Ben seems to be really uncomfortable. I empty all of the trash cans around the house because tomorrow is garbage day and Ben will play with unattended trash. Adam and Avery sit at the table and drink root beer as a special treat for finishing their pizza. That doesn't make a lot of sense, but just go with it. Avery needs to use the bathroom, but moves too slowly and has an accident. I put the load of her accident clothes in the laundry.
5:45 Ben is screaming because he's developing a terrible diaper rash and the tub was a bad decision. I put lotion around him and let him run around naked some more. He bonks his head, as he does basically every other day. I decide to boil their toothbrushes and disinfect their bathroom some more because I can't take any more pooping and I will find these germs and conquer them.
6:00 We all end up playing in the boys’ room and shoot each other with these barn animals that spit balls. I'm sure there is a better way to put that. Avery keeps trying to erase Adam's whiteboard calender and she keeps getting rebuked because he has been pretty meticulous about keeping it up to date. He has all of the dates of Saturdays listed with a heart because his dad is home on those days. He is such a good kid.
6:15 Jeff reads to the older kids and I try to put Ben down, but fail. I give him a bottle and he blows out again and cries so hard when I change him. It was an exceptional day of diaper changes. Adam and Jeff take turns reading about the Revolutionary War and Avery goes and brushes some dolls' hair because she has a weird thing against George Washington.
7:00 We put the kids down. The older two will stay up and read for a while, but I generally feel like we all do better if they go to bed early. Especially me. I tell Jeff that I'd really like to blog about my day because I just need to write something and he sits across from me while I blog. It takes about two minutes before I ask him to leave and let me blog in peace. I think he's reading Chess for Dummies. I don't really get the appeal of chess, so maybe I should read the book too. Or maybe I'll just read 1980 romance novels from the library because I guess I do want to see if he ever clears his name and can come back from South America or whatever. Also, the clothes.
|This is the only picture I took today. Avery made me carry her paper pillows and blankets downstairs in the "moving bucket" she made.|
|Ben and I in healthier times (ok, yesterday.)|
|This was from a few days ago. We have had an amazingly lovely fall. And I don't even like fall, so you know it must be good.|