Belated Birthday

 My little boy turned 2 on May 12th. I can't believe it. Here's a quick photo blog about him.

He always impresses me with the goofy stuff he does.

Again, goofy.

Once more, he's a goof.

He loves cars and trains.

And exploring.

He sometimes makes funny faces.

He is the worst eater I've ever encountered. Basically, he'd like to live on french fries and yogurt, ugh. NEXT TOPIC.

He will sometimes choose his clothing.

He has a great interest in art.

But also motorcycles.

And screen doors.

He enjoys blanket forts so much that we bought him this tent. It has yet to be put away.

He is a good big brother, but more importantly, he has been wearing that jacket for over a year.

He enjoys a nice sip of juice now and then. (now.)

He liked blowing out the candles on his cake so much that he made us do it several times.

It's hard to believe that he is now this...

When I will always see him as this.

Some tidbits about Adam, mostly so I can remember how he was at this age.

• He goes to bed around 7:30-8:00, but is always stalling and trying to delay bedtime. He sleeps until about 7:00 and takes one nap a day, usually about 2 1/2 hours.
• Let's not even talk about his diet. Hmph.
• Adam is a Daddy's boy. Like you wouldn't believe. In fact, when I got him from his nap today he asked for Jeff instead.
• Since we had Avery, Adam's TV viewership has grown significantly, yikes. He enjoys The Lion King (he roars to ask for it) and Beauty and the Beast (he says "Beast.") and Toy Story. If we aren't watching the first 20 minutes of the same movies, we'll watch PBS. His favorite show is Super Why, but he's really liking Barney these days.
• He's very good at identifying the colors blue and green, and sometimes gray and black. The others are not important enough, I guess.
• He loves the alphabet (Blame Dr. Seuss's ABC and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom and Wheel of Fortune). He knows about 10 by name, but he's especially keen on the letter O.
• Speaking of the letter O, Adam is constantly trying to get us to draw it. All of his coloring books are filled with O's. He's a big fan of coloring.
• He has a fondness for Coldplay and Kelly Clarkson, and claps when he hears them. He also asks to watch the video for "Paradise" about a billion times a day because he likes the elephants in it. Because we often drive Jeff to work and I can only take our Disney CD for a little while, Adam is fond of popular music- maybe too fond. I was impressed by how many words he knows to Amy Winehouse's "Rehab." Yikes.
• Adam is really musical. He can sing on pitch to several songs, but most impressively, he can clap to the rhythm of songs. Not for too long, but long enough to prove that he gets it. I think that's pretty cool.
• Adam likes to read books. It's hard to say what his favorite is, but he is a big fan of "Mr. Brown Can Moo," "Where's Duck?" and "I Was So Mad" among many others.
• He's a big fan of the park and is constantly asking to "go go go," usually to there.
• Adam still uses his pacifier for nap and bedtime (I'm not really all that ashamed, either) and is always concocting schemes to get it out of his crib throughout the day, by stacking things and using toys to try and reach it.
• He loves brushing his teeth and would do it about 20 times a day if we let him.
• Adam says about 120 words or so, probably more. All I know is, I counted about 60 a month ago and he has for sure doubled that. 120 sounds like a lot, but Adam is probably on the lower end of the spectrum for speech. He is just now starting to use sentences ("Mama go" "Up, please" "Want Duck") and for a while I was afraid he wouldn't hit that milestone in time (it's a 2 year milestone), but luckily he did. He is going through a bit of a language explosion now. I swear, he learns about 5 new words a day. (Yesterday's highlight was "pine cone.")
• He's knows the numbers 1, 2, and 3 very well. If you ask him how old he is, he responds correctly.
• He enjoys church. He likes to sing the hymns and yell "Amen!" His favorite thing is sustaining people (when people get new assignments in our church, we raise our hands to say we agree), but he is always a beat late and is almost always opposed.
• He likes nursery. It took him a little while, but he does now. Last Sunday, they brought him to me because he split his lip, and as soon as he was done being sad, he grabbed my hand and ran back to nursery.
• He is a good big brother. To be honest, Adam has been mostly neutral about Avery, (I'll take it!) but he is becoming more and more interested in her. He plays "Peek-A-Boo" with her (she is unfazed) and is starting to ask to hold her. He likes to run to her crib (ok, Pack N Play) to see if she's there.
• He's crazy about shoes and went through a significant phase where he would cry if we took his shoes off.
• Speaking of phases, Adam HATES taking baths. He used to love them. He's pretty obviously scared of washing his hair. It is for this reason that I want to buzz his head.
• He is the cutest thing ever. It is a privilege to be his Mommy.

Love him.

We (They) Are Family

A lot of people ask if Avery looks like Adam. From day one, Jeff and I have argued that she does. There are differences, of course, but we see a strong family resemblance. You'll have to tell me what you think- I'm not sure if I would assume they were the same baby, but they really do look alike. I'm fine with that- I always thought I could never think a baby was as cute as Adam, so looking like Adam is a pretty shrewd strategy, Avery. Good job.

Adam

Avery

Adam

Avery

Adam

Avery

She's got a goofy charm like her brother.

Anniversary

The first time I saw Jeff (March 2007), I felt like I knew him. Not in a Savage Garden way, more specifically, I felt like I knew the kind of person he was. I knew that he worked hard, that he had a testimony, that he was kind. I knew that he'd be a good husband, a good father. I've never had premonitions about people- and I most definitely didn't look at guys and instantly evaluate their baby daddy potential. Jeff was special and I knew that immediately. He has never disappointed me, he is everything I thought he was.

We celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary on Thursday. They have been wonderful years. Jeff doesn't like public proclamations of love, but he married someone who does. I love you, Jeff Carr. I love watching you hold our baby daughter as you watch basketball. I do not love that you spilled some Cheetos on her blanket. Thank you for working so hard and for treating me so well. Thank you for trying to learn the words to Elton John's "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" and singing with me. Thank you for getting Adam up from his nap. By the way, Adam is awake.

I still like him.

Adam

Avery

Before our anniversary dinner in Little Italy. The little ghost was not invited.

Just Thought You Should Know...

We had our baby girl! Avery Cynthia Carr was born on 4/5/12 at 10:42 PM, weighing 5 pounds, 10 ounces.

I just don't have the energy to type up a long birth story right now, so I'll just tell you some tidbits.

• She was 35 weeks when she was born-  a surprise. I thought my preterm labor was being pretty effectively managed. 
• I labored the whole night before, went into the doctor's the next day, got sent to the hospital and then had her 12 hours later. 
• I had an amazing epidural. I'm not ashamed- it was a great experience. No pain, no loss of sensation. It was also helpful in slowing my progression down (It was going really fast for about an hour or two) and gave the doctors time to give me full rounds of antibiotics. (I was GBS  positive again and they treat it very seriously if you've had a previous NICU baby.)
• I pushed 3 times- a very stark difference to Adam's birth which was 2 hours of pushing.
• As soon as she came out, I named her, I'm embarrassed to say. We had talked about names, and Avery was our favorite, but I pushed her out and instantly said, "Her name is Avery." I'm still not sure why I did that- I feel awful for Jeff. I stole his naming vote!
• She's named after a character on 30 Rock (ha) and Jeff's mom.
• It was a very easy delivery. It would have been completely trauma-free for me (re: tears), but Avery had her arm by her head and did a weird little pivot as she came out. Regardless, I still felt really good afterwards.
• Here's another embarrassing one- I felt so good after having her that I called my mom seconds later. I pushed her out, named her, and called my mom as I delivered the placenta. Yes, I just admitted that online. It was weird- I know.
• She came out pink and screaming. 9 and 9 on her APGAR's. (Adam was 4 and 7)
• She didn't need to go to the NICU! (But on a related note, we were released from the hospital too early. She wasn't eating and her jaundice levels were elevated, but they still sent us home. I  am still mad about that- she got re-hospitalized with super high levels of jaundice and a pretty big weight loss a day later.)
• Adam is doing well with the changes- much better than I thought he would. He loves to visit her while she sleeps and loves to point out her body parts. See this video.
• I've been a little blue, I have to admit. So far, I think my blueness has been justified, but I am a little worried about PPD. I definitely have some risk factors- we'll see.
• Jeff can take up to 6 weeks of leave at 60% pay off of work. Good news- that's awesome. Bad news- we can't live on 60% of income for very long. The rent is too darn high! We will be using some of that time to visit family and friends in July. (Sun Valley, IF, and Salt Lake for about 2 weeks.) 
• She looks like Adam. People say she doesn't, but Jeff and I say she does. 
• Since she was early and is a bad eater, I nurse her, supplement with a bottle, and pump. This takes at least an hour- sometimes more. She eats every 3 hours, so my time is limited. She's getting more alert and starting to wake up on her own for feedings. Hooray!

Here are some pictures! 

First picture.

Right before getting discharged the first time.

Home after the second discharge. 

Adam likes her!

She's very sleepy most of the time. It's fun to see her start to wake up.

Two kids- yikes!

Tummy time.

Laissez-Faire

Oh wait, you're not familiar with the economic ideology, Laissez-Faire? Here, let me enlighten you. Ha. My high horse is not too high, because you should see the way I originally spelled the phrase. And the fact that I recently read the phrase in a teen novel, which reminded me that I learned about it in high school. Anyway, Laissez-Faire refers to an economic market completely free from government intervention. It's kind of a "let it be" situation.

The point is, I am currently practicing Laissez-Faire parenting. Basically, Adam is a toddler and I am pregnant and we've reached an agreement that he will still grow up to be a productive member of society even though I've been allowing him to dance on the coffee table while I lay down on the couch. Only time will tell if he'll hold up his end of the bargain, but I've sure been letting him coffee-table dance as much as he wants. And bang things with spoons. And watch oodles of TV. And eat non-nutritious food. The main point is that most of these events have occurred near the couch.

I am tired, so very tired.

I am fine, though. A little bit off the grid, due to my computer breaking down about a month ago and Jeff's computer being pretty often worthless (I'd say it was completely worthless, but I'm using it right now and so far it is saving my post.) I get my basic Internet needs completed on the Kindle, but it's just not the same as a computer for me and I am just behind on life. I've got loads of emails and Facebook messages and celebrity knowledge to catch up on. You know, all of the important things in life.

On Wednesday I will be 30 weeks pregnant, which means that we're about a month and half away from when I had Adam. But though I'm not betting that the baby will actually be born in May, I'm not really sure that she'll be born at 36 weeks either. I can't really compare the two pregnancies because by 30 weeks with Adam I had gone into labor twice and I'm feeling pretty labor-free these days. I do have contractions, don't get me wrong, and I do take constant anti-contraction medicine, but said contractions don't appear to actually be doing anything. Really, I think the progesterone shots have been super-effective in my case. Which is good- although I really do hate getting a 2-minute-long shot in the barm every week.

Adam is doing well. He says probably about 30 words, but quite a few of those are ones that only Jeff and I can really discern. Some classic Adam words are: "I want that" (Ah-dat!) "book" (book a book a book a book) "all done" (Ah-mah. Doesn't really sound like the actual words he's trying to say, but he does the accompanying sign when he says it.) He has recently started saying "please" which goes nice with his "thank you." I'm glad to see him learning new things, but it's hard to see him grow up. Every night when we sneak into his room to watch him sleep, I'm stunned to see how close he is to outgrowing his crib. A big-boy bed seems like a giant nail in Adam's baby-hood coffin.

Jeff is busy- too busy. In fact, his workload has been so large that 8 hours doesn't seem to cut it so he's been working a lot when he gets home, and because of that he's earned quite a bit of time off. We were hoping to use this time around baby girl's arrival, but there's a chance that he might be required to use it sooner, which is both lame/exciting. Luckily, Stanford does give paternity leave, but it's not paid, and we really can't survive long with out Jeff working. I wish we lived in a Scandinavian country where they give both parents like 3 months of paid leave. That'd be cool. Granted, I'd have to have a job to actually make that dream scenario come true- less cool.

The big thing Jeff has been working on is a web magazine that launched last month. Basically, the point of it is that the information and analyses that the West has/makes about the Former Soviet Union is often way off, so the magazine seeks submissions from scholars in the region about current events happening there. It's a weekly effort that results in Jeff and his co-workers having to screen and translate articles.  A big portion of what Jeff does is not only translating articles from Russian to English, but making sure that the finished English product is written up to Stanford's academic standards. And Stanford's standards- they be high. Anyway, every Tuesday when the new edition launches, he tells me he might die of stress and I think he means it. But he's doing a great job and the higher-ups are definitely noticing. You can check out the Post-Soviet Post here. And please do check it out- it is draining the life-force out of my husband, but extra hits are always nice.

Also, we enjoyed a fine President's Day weekend in Reno. Jeff's parents drove and met us there and we certainly tore up the town. Well, mostly we stayed in the hotel and visited, but it was a great time. And Jeff and I got a night out, which means that it was an epic trip.

We said farewell to the teeny car Jeff bought after his mission and swapped it with Steve and Cindy's SUV. Not a lot of logic in that trade for them, but they did a good job convincing us that we were doing them a favor. I'm constantly overwhelmed by how loving and supportive our families are.

Grandpa and Grandma Carr brought Adam's Christmas balance bike. He actually is big enough to ride it now!

Swimming at the hotel pool. Adam loves loves loves swimming.

That's all for now. The Boy is up from his nap and not happy with me being on the computer. I'll try to update you all again soon!

Just So You Know

I wrote a very long blog post tonight that did not get saved or posted.  It may have told you about:

• Adam's molars and words.
• My pregnancy, contractions and red feet.
• Honduras.
• Abortion.
• The burn that happened about a month ago.
• Contanimated water.
• Jeff's coolness.

You may now never know this information.  I guess I could at least put up a picture of my red feet, but that's all you're getting.

You Are So Young.

A few months ago, I bought a Groupon to get my hair done and finally one Saturday in December,  I was able to go.

After the makeover.

It was fun. My stylist was an Iranian woman who didn't speak English, like at all, and because of that the owner of the salon kept coming over to talk to me to make sure I wasn't lonely. Jeff and Adam were out shopping during my year-long appointment and at one point, they came in and said hello.

After they left, the owner came running over. "You have a baby? You are so young. It seems like you are much too young to have a baby." Very slowly, I reached under my smock and zipped up my hoodie, making it less obvious that I am crazy enough to have not only ONE, but TWO babies at my age. I didn't want to distress her.

My age? I'm 23, but I usually tell people I'm 24 if they ask me in reference to my child-bearing. It's only a lie until March. If they're still distressed, I tell them that I am married and college-educated and when they hear the word "college" I can visibly see them relax. I kind of want to sit the commentators down and tell them that where I come from having kids at my age is not considered a huge deal and while I am on the younger end of the spectrum, I am not necessarily on the stupid end of the spectrum.

You see, I get comments a lot. Not enough for me to write a good blog about it until now, but it happens a fair amount and is certainly increasing as my second pregnancy progresses. I wish I could find a good solid stat to back this up, but the average age of first time mothers in the Bay Area/Silicon Valley has to be about 40. That's an exaggeration, but not as much of one as you'd might think. The first time I took Adam to the public pool in Palo Alto, I thought that all the women with their babies were grandmothers. On the other hand, people often think I am Adam's nanny. Because you just don't live in Silicon Valley and not have a nanny.

I've heard so many of my friends/FB friends/acquaintances complain about the narrow-mindedness of people in Utah/Idaho/Mormon Country. I'll be honest, most of these friends are ex-Mormons or Mormons who are  too cool for school. Let me be clear: they are cuckoo-crazy wrong. People are narrow-minded everywhere. There are culture bubbles every place you will go and in these pockets you will always find people who: A.) fit in and think other culture bubbles are crazy and B.) do not precisely fit in and think that the local bubble is crazy.That's why my friends who don't fit well into LDS culture feel that they are in the seventh circle of crazy and that's why I sometimes feel like I am in another (insane) world. But  neither Utah nor California has a monopoly on being judgmental- people in general do.

I wish I could have this conversation with the next person who is offended that I have a baby- let's say she's a woman named Sal.

Sal: I see you have a small child. That is interesting, because you seem to be very young.
Me: Ah, yes. He is the light of my life. I am young, but not obscenely so.
Sal: But you chose to have a baby over a career?
Me: Sort of.
Sal: But really, aren't you too young to be having a family?
Me: Who knows? I don't want a career right now and I like having a family. I like being a mother.
Sal: What a novel idea!
Me: You see, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and family is an important component of our doctrine. Culturally, we often get married and start our families young.
Sal: That's interesting. I believe that a woman is not ready to have a family until she has worked for several years and left her mark on the world. Then she will have really lived life before starting a new one.
Me: That's also very interesting. I think it's a very good philosophy- but maybe not the right one for me. I believe that having kids is not taking away from my life- it IS my life and I like my life.
Sal: I respect you. You go and have more babies.
Me: I'm 22 weeks ahead of you on that one.

To prove that I'm actually a hypocrite, I have to tell you something. I was playing at the park with Adam yesterday and after about a half-hour of observing (and finally I just heard her say it several times in Spanish), I realized that who I thought was a 15 year-old girl playing with her 2 year-old sister was actually her mother. I was just as distressed and condescending as all of my commentators always are when they look at me. Maybe she looks younger than she is? Maybe she is in a loving, committed relationship and she and her partner can easily support their little girl? Or maybe she is just an absurdly young teen mom who will have a hard life- does it matter? She will continue to live that life with or without my condescension and I'm sure she'd appreciate it if I didn't stoop to becoming one more commentator on her life that will surely be full of rude comments by strangers.

There's not an easy solution to my predicament, because I am still about 10 years off the accepted age of a local mother, but I'm going to try to be more patient with the next person who tells me I'm too young to be a mother. I am not the norm here and I understand that my lifestyle can be baffling to others. I am happy and confident in my abilities to be a young mother and I will try to let that shine through in these awkward little confrontations.

And also... I think I'm going to start telling people I'm 25.