Tuesday, September 8, 2009

A Treatise on Matrimony.

I'm sitting in my Marriage and Family Relations class. I brought my computer for the sole purpose of avoiding death by boredom in this class- I never knew a class could be so long. So very long. My professor always thinks I listen because I repeatedly look up and smile. Professors love that crap. But, as it turns out, I have a conscience. So I will dedicate this blog to what we are talking about in class.


Marriage is a weird thing here in Utah. I have no talent for stats (see my transcript for confirmation), but I'm pretty sure a marriage occurs every second in Utah. We love marriage here. And there is the funny quirk we have of marrying people we've known for a day. (You non-Utahns are laughing, but that's actually pretty darn accurate. I know a couple who tied the knot one month after meeting.)

That's crazy, right? Right. (How can you plan a wedding that fast?? How can you get tan enough for the pictures??) Before you call Amnesty International listen to this: I'll bet that these marriages are a lot stronger than you think. They're still subject to the 50% divorce rate, but I know many whirlwind marriages that seem pretty stable and healthy. Good for them. I'm a firm believer (and you can argue with me all you want) that every marriage can succeed. Seriously. I think I could marry a gun-touting, Taco Bell-hating alien and make it work. I think if you're committed and unselfish, you can convince any alien to like Taco Bell.

That doesn't mean that any marriage can be blissfully happy. My girl Jane Austen said, "Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance." Sorry Jane, but that's not really true anymore. But I have to admit, I've been incredibly lucky.

Being married to Jeff is easy. It's not because he's perfect and it's not because he cleans the bathroom (he doesn't). My professor said earlier in class that there is 20% of our partner that we don't like and that will never change. I think I only dislike 10% of Jeff, and that's really only when he makes me watch hours of unending tennis. I can't speak for Jeff, but if he dislikes 20% of me, he's been really great about never ever bringing it up.

And that's all I need in a marriage.


marleerocker said...

Um, I like how not liking taco bell is a potential deal breaker for you, one that you think you can surmount.

I'm no expert. I always say that you can make anything work but that doesn't mean it will make you happy...

I'm glad I found your blog.

The Kims said...

I'm very pro whilwind marriages...
best decision I've ever made.

Seriously though, my heart still flutters sometimes when I see Jayson.

yay for marriage.

and I think you're right, if both partners will put in effort, they can make marriage work.

Mandy said...

I think you're right - it takes a lot of work sometimes to uh... make things work!

I took the Marriage and Family class at the Y and (with my certain professor) was scorned for using birth control. Hah! I loved the class - except for that particular lecture. :)