Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Milestones in the Life of a Sarah.


This Monday, I turn 21. I have no excuses now- I will officially be an adult. I can do almost everything adults can do- except rent a car. Childhood was good to me. I will now take this time to reflect on my life thus far.

March 9th, 1988. Sarah is born in Fairbanks, Alaska. A good day for Taco Bell. The doctors believed her to be mentally retarded. She gracefully proves them wrong.

Age 1. Sarah learns to speak after a long hiatus. This was because she couldn't hear very well. (Not because she was mentally retarded.)

Age 2. Sarah gets tubes in her ear. She still has awful hearing.

Age 3. Sarah doesn't do much. Sarah's brother John begins reading at age 2. Sarah is jealous. He is also discovered to be autistic. Weirdly enough, Sarah is also a little jealous.

Age 4. Sarah goes to preschool. Reads a little. Tells her Mom that she's fat. Not the nicest little girl.

Age 5. Sarah sucks a large portion of her hair out with a Dirt Devil. Is forced to have a mullet when she starts Kindergarten. As if this wasn't bad enough, Sarah's Kindergarten teacher worries about Sarah because (due to bad penmanship) Sarah has been signing her name "Satan."

Age 6. Sarah moves onto 1st grade. She has a strange obsession with her teacher, Mrs. Cass. Archives show Sarah made many drawings of Mrs. Cass with the subtitle, "MY Mrs. Cass." This is also around the time Sarah's best friend Sam told her that she could get money for moose droppings. She begins to collect them.

Age 7. Sarah makes a name for herself in the 2nd grade because she has all the state capitals memorized. This is because of "Where in the USA is Carmen Sandiego?"

Age 8. A big year for Sarah. Baptism, bull cut, and a move to Sandy, UT.

Age. 9. Sarah has a little person for a 4th grade teacher. Sarah is the only one in the class shorter than her teacher. Also, Sarah doesn't have any friends and spends recess time reading. She is declared "Principle of the Day" because of all her AR points.

Age 10. Sarah moves to a house a mile away and starts a new school. Suddenly she is well-liked and has her first romantic interest, a boy named Chris. She very nearly ends everything when she stabs him with a pencil. Also, Sarah meets Suzanne, her future best friend.

Age 11. Sarah begins to become friends with Suzanne. They have many hijinks in 6th grade. Sarah's teacher doesn't like her and puts her in time out. Sarah meets Marni, her other future best friend.

Ages 12-14. Middle school. A dark age for everyone. Sarah makes the mistake of shaving her eyebrows instead of plucking. Suzanne accuses Sarah of shaving HER eyebrows while she was sleeping. Marni refuses to shave. A dark time.

Age 15. High school. Sarah is in "Cinderella." She meets Senora Hardy, who will become her favorite teacher of all time. Decides to start doing her hair. Decides this is not a skill she possesses.

Age 16. Sarah goes on her first date, with her chum Jordan. Begins dating more fellows, one of them steadily. Is in "Hello, Dolly." Is afraid to drive. Finds out that she has a grapeseed stuck in her arm. May be the first person to face this conundrum.

Age 17. Stops dating for a while. Decides to sow her wild oats. Also, after putting it off for too long, Sarah learns to drive. Sarah also goes to Mexico for a summer and is scared by the lizards in her room. Also, the sisterhood is formed.

Age 18. Graduates from High School with very little nostalgia. Begins attending Utah State University, studying Spanish. Rooms with Suzanne in a room called "The Woobler." The Woobler is a disgusting hole of clothes and sunflower seeds. Has a silly time at college.

Age 19. Continues her studies. Right after her 19th birthday, she meets Jeff Carr and declares him to be her soulmate minutes after. Eventually, she gets him to agree. They fall in love. They get engaged on January 14, 2008.

Age 20. Marries Jeff. They move to Virginia. Sarah sees Barack Obama. She discovers that she loves botanical gardens. She misses her family. Jeff and Sarah move back to Logan to go to school. Sarah now studies history. She meets a squirrel that tries to bite her everyday. She starts a blog.


That's my life in a nutshell. A very small, non-serious nutshell, like a pistachio. Here's hoping that the next 21 years will be full of giggles! What will happen to Sarah next?? More grape seed problems? More mullets? More rabid squirrels? I guess only time will tell. Who knows what the future will hold? All I know is, I've lived a pretty good life.




14 comments:

drew said...

Satan, ha ha ha, that just made my day.

chetandbobisue said...

I love your blogs because they make me laugh so much. You are so cute. Hope you guys are doing good.

Derek and Jen said...

Haha Sarah! I love the "Chris" love triangle memories!!!

Ashley said...

This was really entertaining! Thank you for sharing. :) It made my day. I learned a lot of little things about you that I didn't know. That was fun. I hope you have an amazing 21st!

Ashley said...

Oh and I also like your comment poll. haha.

Tiffany said...

Okay, I will comment just because you made a poll about comments.
Your posts are HILARIOUS! I love reading them. It is really cool to get to know you more, it makes me kindof sad I didn't do that when you were here!
I remember the first time I met you--I brought over all the girls from your primary class. We came into your house, and it was almost like they all charged you! You looked kindof scared. (I would be too). I guess it all worked out good in the end.
I love hearing you sing! Just thought I would add that in.
I think your mom is one of the most humble people I know.
And.....it's great to get our weekly visits from John. He brings us movies all the time!

Anonymous said...

You forgot to mention how when you were eight, you did a huge batch of dishes and mopped the floor while your Mom went out with Tim looking for posterboard. You could tell she was stressed and wanted to suprise her.
and of course my favorite Sarah quote of all time.
"I know what you're thinking. You're thinking...life is hard"

AnneMarie said...

This post reminded me of some good times in the Yawn backyard. "In the quiet misty morning..."

Gillian said...

That post was hillarious! I also learned we have many things in common, such as you were principal for the day for AR? I was too. In fact several times. It was one of the highlights of my life and I still consider adding it to my resume. You also lived in VA? Is that how you know Miss Cecil? I've lived her forever, literally, some day I hope to change that. Plus our March birthdays, clearly we were meant to be fellow child brides and blog friends.

The Kims said...

Haha, this is hilarious. Does the Squirrel live by Old Main? I see one there like everyday when I walk home.

Gretchen said...

Hahaha, this cracked me up. Happy birthday, darling!

Jeff said...

Well, this is all news to me. Of course this begs the question: what will be the defining moment of 21? So far, I guess it's losing $4.90 at the slots. Tough break on that, by the way. Of course, that was my money. Hmm.

ashienickie said...

This blog gave me some much needed laughs. Seriously. :)

Lina Hardman said...

You make me laugh!